Young teenagers are battling a “vicious cycle of loneliness” which has been linked to a fear of embarrassment or judgement by peers.
A University of the Sunshine Coast study of more than 170 children aged 13 to 15 reinforced the “global loneliness epidemic” that was creating poorer psychological and social outcomes among adolescents.
UniSC Lecturer in Psychology Helen Hall said some teens felt lonely even when they were surrounded by their peers.
“They withdraw from socialising to avoid being judged, then fail to learn skills around trust, joining in, and give-and-take, then feel lonely and avoid their peers even more,” she said.
“Unfortunately, some teens suffer because they have empathy and recognise other perspectives, which are wonderful skills that are decreasing among this age group.”
Ms Hall said previous research had shown that large friend networks or status goals did not necessarily lead to greater wellbeing or healthier social behaviour.
“However, in this case, they do appear to be protective factors against loneliness when they are channelled into mutually supportive, trusting relationships,” she said.
“Parents and teachers need to help our teens find safe, low-pressure ways of participating and connecting with their peers.
“Don’t rely on the old advice to ‘stop caring what others think’ and be cautious if encouraging social media contact. Generally, our teens will gain richer skills when they participate with others in-person.”
Ms Hall offered the following tips to help lonely teens
- Pivot the focus to trust. Find one peer they feel most at ease with and one adult they can talk to, then discuss what action they can do to strengthen those ties.
- Teach reciprocity by creating micro-scripts of give-and-take in friendships – checking in, asking people to sit with them, showing empathy.
- Encourage them to practise social courage. What’s one small step they can take this week instead of avoidance?
- Make sure they are getting some decent sleep and self-care.
- Try a 10-minute ‘download’ (write the worry), then a reset routine (shower, music, stretch).
The study involved students from four independent schools across Queensland and was published in the journal Child & Youth Care Forum with UniSC supervisors and co-authors Dr Prudence Millear and Professor Mathew Summers.
More details of the study are available here.
