Couples struggling with their relationships need to prioritise communication, with small daily changes that are easy to implement, according to relationship advocate and author Elizabeth Jane.
Ms Jane said most relationships fell apart because people stopped feeling heard, prioritised and emotionally safe.
“So many people supress their needs, soften the truth, or pretend they’re fine to keep the peace,” Ms Jane said in a statement.
“Unfortunately, when you’re not being yourself, real connection can’t exist.
“You don’t need to be perfect to communicate well. You just need to be real.”
Ms Jane said effective communication began with authenticity and emotional self-awareness.
“If you don’t understand what you’re feeling, you can’t express it clearly,” she said.
“When people speak from stress, resentment or exhaustion, conversations quickly become reactive.
“Pause before important conversations and ask yourself what you are feeling and what you need.”
She said this was critical to avoid unconsciously projecting insecurities, resentment or anger on to your partner. Successful couples don’t avoid conflict, they communicate effectively.
“Small consistent changes in how you talk, listen, and show up can completely change how a relationship feels,” she said.
“It takes vulnerability and courage and perseverance to have those often uncomfortable, but real conversations, but the benefits are worth it, trust deepens, intimacy grows, and relationships thrive.”
Small, intentional changes can improve connection, including:
- Create phone-free time to be fully present starting with 20 minutes of undistracted conversation.
- Schedule weekly check-ins to talk about how you’re both feeling. Don’t crowd this conversation with logistics. It’s there to give your relationship the priority and energy it deserves.
- Have non-TV nights so that deeper connection can begin. It will give you the space and flexibility to topic wander which leads to vital conversations.
- Change the environment by going for a walk, having a picnic, or sit outside together to take you away from the stress and mundaneness of life.
- Choose timing carefully so that important conversations do not happen when you’re tired, rushed, or stressed.
- Manage your conversations so that you are aware of your language and tone. Be aware of how you feel and interact when you are calm and grounded. Do not blame. Use phrases like “I feel” or “I need” to keep communication open. Be specific and clear. Hinting only creates confusion and resentment.
- Listen to understand, not to win.
- Repair quickly after arguments. Acknowledging hurt, apologising, or reconnecting after an argument builds emotional safety.
